Merry Christmas

My cat Herbie is very curious about my Christmas gifts. I got some crazy socks, which always thrills me, bath stuff, a giant Eiffel tower, and my Keurig. That's what I really wanted. I'm thrilled. I got a ton of gift cards too, so I'll be hitting the mall tomorrow. I always get nice stuff for Christmas. I'm truly blessed with very thoughtful family members.

I can't wait to celebrate Christmas with my boyfriend however. I hope he likes the gifts that I got him.

Greetings From The Snowy Midwest

Yes, I'm still having a nice Christmas time, but I'm missing my boyfriend very much. I'm here in the snowy midwest, and he's in southern California. He's describing 70 degree temperatures, and sunny skies, and the gorgeous sunset on the ocean. Here it is 30 degrees and snowing. I did have a really nice day. I went horse riding, then did some last minute Christmas shopping. Made some sugar cookies all by myself. I'm totally sick of it now, and I no longer feel the need to make these stinkin' cookies until next year. I hope my family enjoys them. I then went outside and shoveled one round for giggles, although the snow will probably keep coming down all night. I'm so happy to talk to my boyfriend when he calls, but I really miss him, and wish I could be with him now. I wouldn't care if we were in sunny California, or snowy Wisconsin. It's all good. But we'll have our Christmas celebration when he gets back.

Sugar Cookie Hound

I'm really good at making chocolate chip cookies, and I do okay making peanut butter cookies, or chocolate softies, I can even make praulines, but the sugar cookie has been a burr under my saddle for quite sometime. For one thing, I don't particular care for sugar cookies, I'm all about chocolate or peanutt butter, or brown sugar and nuts. Sugar cookies are just too bland and boring for me. Also, making the dough from scratch is really hard . I've never been able to master it, the dough comes out too dry, or too wet, can't roll it out, I try to cut out shapes and they fall apart, what a mess! Then, my boy friend turned me on to those sugar cookie packages you buy in the baking section. All you do is add egg and some butter and you're good to go. Too dry, add a little water, it sticks, add a little flour. Voila, then he made different colored frostings and together we all added our frosting and sprinkles, and had a great time decorating cookies all afternoon. And you know what, they don't taste too bad when they're smothered in frosting and sprinkles. I've grown to like these, and they're a lot of fun. Yes, I'm still having a wonderful Christmas time!! I'm now for sugar cookies, not against.

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time

I thought this tree was so pretty downtown, I walked over after work one night, but as you can see, I don't really know how to use my night photography option on my camera. I will have to read up about that.

My cat Herbie, on the other hand, thinks that we put this tree up just for his amusement. I must say he's maturing, as less ornaments have bit the dust this year, than in previous years, and thankfully he doesn't try to climb the tree anymore.

I feel a great relief, as yesterday, I finished 99% of my Christmas shopping. I've got all the gifts wrapped too. I'd like to cease with the stress, worry and rushing this season brings about and concentrate on the spiritual meaning of the season. Not easy to do, but I'm going to try.

Wacky Christmas Figures

Got a good start on my Christmas Shopping this weekend. One fun outing was to the local antique store where they had so much old and weird stuff, you could get lost for hours looking at it all. I asked my friend to lend me $4 so I could buy this plastic baggy of weird little figures, some of which you can see don't even stand up. I'm not even sure what to do with them. For now, they will reside on the kitchen counter, a place where the cats don't really go.

My friend started putting up all his decorations this evening. Next week is Thanksgiving and the weekend after that he is going to be out of town. So far, at my house, I've put up a wreath, and have these little figures on the counter. That's as far as I got.

I Bought A New Car

I had so much fun this weekend. I had a vacation day on Friday, and I test drove cars, I went horse riding, lunch with my boyfriend, a play Friday night. Saturday, he went with me to talk to the salespeople, and he really helped me negotiate a price and car payment I can afford, on the car that I wanted. I think my new car is as cute as a button, and I'm really happy.

Pizza Saturday night, shopping and hanging out on Sunday. What a nice weekend. It's a good feeling knowing I have a nice new reliable car. Now I feel very safe driving to my boyfriend's house, as well as work, and anywhere else I need to go.

Red Barn

The weather was a gift this past weekend. Close to 70 degrees in November? Wow. Everytime I go to and from my friend Mat's house, I see this cool red barn. This particular Sunday afternoon, I was driving by, the top down on my car, and I said to myself, that's it, I will stop to take a picture, and I did. So here you have it, the red barn, with the crooked door and peeling cracked paint sitting in the weeds propped up against a bright blue November sky. I love barns. They're kind of up there with sunflowers for me. This barn, seems to have good bones. It doesn't want to entirely give itself over to decay.

November Sunset

Went for a walk at sunset with my friend . Later on in the evening, he told me that my independence was admirable. I guess I've never thought about it. It's the way I've developed over the years, because of the circumstances of my life. His life story is totally different from mine, yet I see him as a kinder and more loving person than myself. Responsible, yet totally in tune with other people. He puts other people, especially his children, before himself, which is admirable, but at the same time, he needs to learn to be gentle with himself, and take care of himself as well. I've never had a problem putting "me" first, but I wish I was more like my friend.

More Autumn Fun

This evening we each carved a pumpkin. Mine is the third from the right, he's missing his top tooth, because I acidentally cut it out. Thought this was a good night time photo or our efforts. Lots of fun. I had never carved my own pumpkin before. I grew up pumpking deprived, and then crushed in spirit when the kids in our neighborhood would smash the pumpkins that my mom had carved. Oh well, Happy Halloween!!

Walking Around Town, Cool Old Buildings

Went to a movie with my boyfriend this afternoon. It was nice. Went to the hardware store, then we had an early dinner, or a late lunch, "linner" as he calls it. I had those tiny burgers, I think they're called "sliders" and some fries, but the best part was a huge milkshake, chocolate fudge with whip cream and a cherry. I was in heaven. A walk was in order after that. We walked in the park by the river which was beautiful, but my camera was in the truck. Then we drove to downtown, and I remembered my camera. Downtown are some cool old buildings.

That's it. Snapped some photos. It was just a nice afternoon spent with my friend. I like doing things with him, and looking at things I normally wouldn't look it. He makes me think about things I normally wouldn't think of.

Welcome Autumn

Okay, I have accepted the fact that summer is over, summer lover that I am, but look at this! Autumn in all it's glory is in full swing. I did two fun and romantic things this weekend. Friday evening, we put sleeping bags on the ground and many blankets over us, and layed down and stared up at the stars on a chilly autumn night. I had never taken the time to do that before. I saw some shooting stars and the milky way, and realized how the earth is spinning and shifting as the stars drifted away.

Sunday afternoon, we walked through some snarly woods for the purpose of collecting autumn leaves of all shapes, sizes and colors. I am partial to red, but I gathered up all sorts of leaves, of red, orange, yellow, brown, gold and green. They're pressed in one of my Bibles now, until I'm ready to do something creative with them. It's so fun to get outside and enjoy what every season has to offer.

Sunflowers

I was reading a section in my writing book that was talking about being specific. Instead of writing "that flower in the window box", write that geranium in the window box. Okay, but sometimes I like not being specific, because it forces you to imagine any kind of flower you want. I would never imagine a geranium. I would imagine my own kind of flower in the colors I felt like at the moment. . . for instance, it's autumn and I'm in the process of drawing some flowers. . . they're going to be orangish, reddish, yellowish which jives with the autumny feelings and colors I'm undergoing right now.

I've decided I'm crazy for anything sunflower, long sweeping fields of them, a sea of yellow on a green background, postcards and scenes of the south of France and Italy come to mind. As summer disappears and the gray of winter is approaching the sunflower just seems like such a joyful, happy, warm flower. It's a yellow burst that looks like a sun, and it's so needed in winter. I just want to find everything sunflower and surround myself with it. I found this sunflower cup at a rummage sale the other day. I'm thrilled. I love having my coffee out of it in the morning.

Moon on an Autumn Night

Blustery, windy night

Clouds floating like film under a white milky moon.

Chilly, but not to the bone.

The kind of night that makes you want to kiss in the wind

And drive home listening to Patsy Cline.

Autunm Fun

It's hard for me to accept that summer is actually over, and we are now transitioning into fall. I love the long days and bright sunshine of summer. But now the daylight is getting shorter, and temperatures are getting cooler, but that's okay, there's plenty of fun to be had regardless of the season.

This weekend, we went to Farm Fest. We got to go on a wagon ride, looked at animals, I sat on a tractor and we painted pumpkins and stuffed our own scarecrow! My pumpkin is the smallest one with the flowers painted on it. I didn't help that much with Bob the scarecrow. I stuffed a little bit of straw into his jeans, and helped sew his top half to his bottom half, but that's about it.

It was a nice day of fresh air and fun. Now I'm craving some hot apple cider. Welcome Autumn!

Pie Fiasco

Inspired yet again by my very good friend Mat, one afternoon, he just made a pie, a bumbleberry pie entirely from scratch, the crust and everything. I thought, gee whiz, I've always wanted to make a pie, and I consider myself a good baker, but I've never tried a pie. So, here we have my concoction that is now . . in the trash can.

I was very tired, while making this, and I thought I followed the recipe for the crust to a tea. It rolled out dry and crumbly, but I thought, well, I just don't have the knack yet. I suck at making cut out cookies too. Did I mention that I'm a good baker?

I also put double the sugar in the pie, because I had canned pie filling, which didn't need any sugar added. Oh boy. So here comes the pie. Cardboard, tasteless crust and all with sugar bomb cherry innards. I put it on the counter to cool over night. The next morning I wake up, and see that jar of shortening on the counter. Oh, yeah, I was suppossed to put that into the crust!!! I will try it again. I'm sure I can get this right

Air Plane Ride

I was at the horse farm on Saturday, when I saw this cute little yellow plane fly overhead about two times. I looked up in the sky, and thought, hmmm. Isn't that nice. Gee, he's flying pretty low. Twenty minutes later, my cell phone rings. It's my friend Mat. He said, "hey, did you see that yellow plane flying around?" I said yeah. He said, "I was in it!!" No kidding. Right down the rode from the horse farm, they were giving plane rides. The little plane doesn't need much runway, so they were taking off and landing in a grassy field.

The next day, I decided, that I would like to try it, too. Of course, I want to be as daring and spontaneous as my friend Mat. So, after a big greasy breakfast, up I go in this little plane with my camera in hand. It rose up so gently, it didn't feel like anything, and before I knew it, we were high above farm fields, trees, subdivisions, little towns, and countless horse farms. It was really beautiful, and I started snapping a lot of pictures. After a little while, though, I began to feel, not so good. The plane was swimming its way through the windy air, gradually rising up and down, going with the flow. My stomach started churning, and I began to feel very nauseous. Soon, I began thinking, when is he going to land this thing? We were only up there for about 20 minutes. He banked hard to the left, and we came in for a very smooth landing. The look on my face must have said it all. Mat asked if I had good time, and of course I said yes. Then, I asked if we could just sit down on the grass for little while before jumping on his motorcycle to continue our trip. I'm sure my face had gone about 6 shades of green.

I thought I felt better after a little while, so we took off on the motorcycle. However, I didn't really feel better. I started feeling worse. I started breathing heavy, because it seemed to dissipate that nauseous, I'm going to throw up any minute feeling I was having, but then my hands and my feet started going numb. I freaked out a little, told Mat I didn't feel well. He pulled into the parking lot of a little church. I laid down on the grass under a big maple tree. After some time, feeling came back to my limbs, and I didn't feel like I was going to faint. The pastor of the church came out, and asked if we needed anything. She said we were under the Trinity Tree. I wish I would have snapped a picture of it . I didn't notice it at first because I was feeling so awful, but the tree had three very large sturdy branches coming out of one solid trunk. What a great name for a tree at church! Anyway, it was under the Trinity Tree where I began to feel better. We went on our way again. Next stop Walgreens for some Dramamine. Repeat after me, "Dramamine is my friend".

Stars

Stars? I'm never awake when the stars are out. In the summer they come out late. They are more brilliant in the deep darkness of winter. They also are drowned out by the city lights. At my previous house I would sit on my back porch and look at the stars totally in awe even though they weren't nearly as bright because they were competing with the city lights. Most of the time, I just sleep while they shine and sparkle the night away.

Describe a Grandparent

My grandpa was a hardworking man, kind and loving. He worked as a mailman for 33 years. He got up early and worked hard 6 days a week. He also took good care of his home and all of his possessions. They lived in the same house my grandpa was born in.

He and my grandma had a big garden. They grew sweet corn, cucumbers, squash, tomatos, potatos, carrots, onions, lettuce, radishes, kohl-rabis, beets, green beans, and they had a huge flower garden of petunias, peonies, zinias, marigolds, geraniums, and gladiolas.

Nothing was ever wasted. They lived frugally, yet they always had enough. My grandma would make good simple meals, beef roast or chicken, or meat loaf or pork chops, and then plenty of vegetables from the garden like green beans, lettuce salad with grandma's home made dressing, beets or carrots, radishes, and then bread. Sometimes grandma would make her own bread, and this was a long time before bread makers existed. As a dumb kid, I didn't like grandma's home made bread or salad dressing. Now what I wouldn't give to taste those things and have my grandparents back.

My grandpa would pile his plate with food, and he would eat every last thing on his plate using the bread to sop up everything and wipe the plate clean. Nothing went to waste. But they weren't stingy.

I believe they had a lot to show us about being good stewards of what the Lord has given us. They lived in a quieter, simpler time when sharing kindness and generosity were the norm. They lived simply and enjoyed their lives and what they had

The Streets of my City

About two blocks east of where I live there are some residential streets that I love to walk down. They are tree lined and several of the homes are brightly colored Victorians and restored to their former glory. I love walking down those streets and looking at the houses imagining what life was like in times gone by.

I Love Paris

It's very fun and exciting traveling to a different country, culture and language. I've always loved Paris and France. I've had a strong desire since my early 30's to learn the language and culture and go there. So, I did. I've visited several times now and I'm sure it's just a matter of time before I go again. I admit, I'm dragging my feet on traveling right now for a number of personal reasons. However, three years ago, I got to go back to France on a trip with meaning, more than just for my own selfish pleasures. I went with some people from my church and we met and stayed with some people from a small church in a town north of Paris.

It was a wonderful experience being with Christians of a different culture and language. We stayed with a retired couple who spoke no English. I was really able to put to work my mediocre French with all its mistakes! Something happened, though and my French actually improved over the course of the trip. Well, some nights, I collapsed in my room feeling like my brain would explode, but there's nothing like immersion, the "you have to use whatever French you know or you don't get to communicate" mode to force you brain into action.

The couple we stayed with was charming, warm, welcoming and friendly. We all tried very hard to speak their language, be gracious guests, and not offend them with our loud and brash American ways. Dany, the lady of the house made us wonderful home cooked meals every night. Every meal had at least three to four courses including a cheese course and desert, and don't the forget the wine! I'm sure I gained close to ten pounds on this trip.

We did want to provide some service to our French friends on this trip. We met with the pastor of their church. There was a lot of work to be done around the parsonage. So we helped with some of those jobs. Paul, one of our team members worked on the kitchen doors which didn't close right. He sanded them down and worked on the lock so they could close correctly and not cause drafts or be broken into.

Chris and I varnished the back stairs that led out into the back yard, and we also painted the iron gridwork on the front door. I had paint all down my shirt on that one. I don't think the actual work we did was much. In the grand scheme of missions, it's fairly far down on the list of life changing things. But Jean-Claude the pastor and his wife Joelle were really grateful, and the couple we stayed with, Willy and Dany, we became really good friends. We started thinking of future work projects we could do on subsequent visits. They looked at us and said. . . do you really need a work project to do, in order to come back and visit us?

So, the mission of our trip was really to make friends, to offer encouragement and pray for other Christians in France where it's extremely difficult to practice one's faith. These small acts made the trip worthwhile. Yes, they took us sight seeing in Paris, and we spent a weekend traveling around Normandie and we were blessed with their friendship and hospitality. This was the most fun and meaningful trip to France for me.

Home Sweet Home

Sitting at home, at my kitchen table, I can hear birds chirping outside. My cat Sutherland loves to chatter and cluck at the birds. When I sit with my notebook at the kitchen table, I can hear Marcel happily munching his dog food. Pancho is in the other room barking probably at Herbie, my other cat. The TV is blaring, HGTV, what else. Double chocolate muffins are baking in the oven. Sutherland is lounging on the kitchen table. Did I mention that I like being at home? I know it's not a chic or sophisticated notion, but I love my house. It's cute as a button. It's light and breezy in the summertime, and warm and cozy in the wintertime. Yes, it needs some work, but until I can afford to do some major things, everything is functional. This house makes me feel calm, and it sparks my creativity. Traveling is wonderful, to go to different places, different cultures, languages, people and things are all wonderful to experience, but there's nothing like coming home.

I remember. . . .

I remember when I started going back to church. A friend had mentioned this huge church, and how it really gave good sermons and the music was good, and she really liked hearing the people on the platform give testimonies. She thought that was very real and worthwhile. I started going with her. At the time, I was ready to turn back to God. We usually arrived five minutes late and sat in the balcony. The pastors explained how Jesus died for our sins and that by believing in him and what he did, we will go to be with him in heaven when we die. All of a sudden I understood the magnitude of what this meant. I thought of the great love and sacrifice Jesus did for me! I thought, how can people not want to take him up on his offer? Surprisingly many people don't, even after hearing and understanding the gospel message.

So sitting in the balcony, listening to Mel or Stuart preach, I accepted the work of Jesus for me with my whole heart, and I was instantly filled with joy. The process of changing me from the inside out has been a slow one. Thank the Lord for his infinite patience and kindness with me.

I remember coming to church 5 minutes late and sitting in the balcony. Now I come half an hour early and sit right down in front in the middle. It's funny how things change.

Herbie

I love my cat Herbie, or as I affectionately call him, Herbert, the Derbert. He's always so happy, and cuddly and relaxed. He doesn't have body issues. He's content to let it all hang out, wherever, whenever. He's comfortable in his own skin. Whenever I'm stressed out at work, I like to look at pictures of Herbie, and I instantly calm down.

My Red Pumps

Cherry red pumps

Two inch heels

I had in my 20's

Wore them with a pale green pleated mini-skirt

Well, actually it was a "skort"

They were really shorts but looked like a skirt

I wore white ankle socks

The red pumps

And a white sleeveless button down shirt

The tune "The Angels Want to Wear My Red Shoes" going through my head.

I have not been able to find red pumps like that since.

And those shoes have long been in a landfill.

I wore them until the heels were practically falling off.

I wore them all over the east side in my clubbing, bar hopping days.

Now I just want to find a pair I can wear to work.

Where Is the Air Conditioning Guy?

Don't you hate waiting for repair people? You get a window of time, and you need to be at home during that window of time. If you go out to the store, or run down to the corner, they will surely arrive while you're gone, and then you'll have reschedule that appointment.

Anyhow, my appointment for the repair of my air conditioner had a two hour window. Better than a four hour window. I decided to do it on my lunch hour, between 12-2. Of course he came at about five minutes to two.

Turned out the problem was the capacitor, not to be confused with the "flux capacitor". If that was the case, all I'd have to do is shove an old banana peel and half empty can of beer in the thing, and then I could zoom back to the future, and have a cool house to boot!! It took him twenty minutes to change out the part. The bill was $243. Now, our hot days seem to be over for the time being. Oh well, I'll try to be an optimist and wait for some more hot days this summer. Actually, it's kind of nice to not have to use it. I love having the windows open, hearing the birds and having a nice breeze flow through the house. However, the next strong heat wave we get, I'm ready!!

My Domestic Skills (or lack thereof)

Some people have bright and shiny houses, neat and clean with a place for everything and everything in it's place. I am not exactly one of them. I, on the other hand am gifted in the art of ignoring the dirt. Oh I can go around the house, pick up stuff on the floor, straighten up papers and books, put stuff in drawers, but get right down to it and scrub and clean? I think not. Only when something becomes so disgusting that one day I snap. Yes. . then I will really clean. In the meantime. . I'm gifted at ignoring the dust on my coffee table and elsewhere. Fuzz bunnies in the corner of the living room? Who cares. What color is the kitchen floor? Why it's the color of dirt, sort of yellow, grayish, brownish, tannish linoleum. I mean honestly, how close do you have to look to see that ring around my bathtub? We don't want to be hasty spending an afternoon cleaning when we could be outside, sitting in a lawnchair with a magazine!

I'm also handy at not being handy around the house. When my drains clog, I'm great at pouring countless bottles of Draino down the sink. I also have the plumber's number on speed dial.

Lawn mower won't start? I have my friends Mat and Sherry to help me take it to the repair place.

My airconditioning stopped working. Well, I'm at a loss there. I've called the heating and cooling guy. Got a picture of my cat pretending he's dead from the heat on the kitchen table.

Perhaps I can sum up my domestic skills in the following poem.

Ice cream eater

Weed eater

Insect killer

Mouse remover

Artiste

Pray(er)

Flower Picker

Trash taker outer

Trash maker

Consumer

Radio Singer

Dancer

Listener

Writer

Rider

As you can see there's a million other things I'd rather do than clean the house!

The Earth And Everything In It

Bouncing Rolling Spinning Timing Climbing Forboding Imploding No more free loading Hurddling Spurtling Churtling Smoke Choke No joke The end.

Water On a Mission

The water stood up and took notice. No longer satisfied to come down in gentle drops and drizzles, It was traveling up. Up the rain gutters Up the streets Up the basements It made phone calls and asked more of its wet friends to come by. It reversed Drove downtown Confronted every crack and crevice and hole and stone It riled up the rivers and streams, lakes and sewers. Wash away you ugly town. You need to be clean I'll leave nothing untouched until you sparkle like diamonds in the morning light.

What Do I do with These Characters?

Cinnamon Burrie was a sweet girl with a tendency to be hot and spicy. She was a high emotion individual . You never knew what could set her off. One moment she seemed fine and happy. She would be laughing and making jokes with people at work. The next minute she'd be cursing up and down like a sailor usually after reading her e-mail. That's when the real work would begin, and Cinnamon got easily ticked off at her customers. ************************************ Basil Harrison was a man about to turn fifty. A perpetual hippe, he had everything handed to him on a silver platter. His parents were extremely rich and they never expected anything from him except to just, be. Basil wanted to do more than just "be" though. He just didn't know what he wanted to be. So here he was turning fifty. He'd never worked a regular job in his life, and he lived in a house that was purchased for him by his parents. Now his parents were pushing ninety and Basil didn't know what he would do without them. They had provided everything for him all his life. How would he function without them? ************************************************************************ Meg's name was short for Nutmeg. Nutmeg Deveraux. She was a lot like the spice in that you really only want it in small doses, and maybe only once a year, like in your egg nog at Christmas, and that's it. Here was a woman who broke all the rules at the riding stable. She always insisted on jumping her horse in the ring when no one was around. She liked to take her horse out on the trails and she would deride anyone who didn't share her enthusiasm for going hell-bent-for-leather in the woods. She would ride over rocks, hills, tree roots, branches and holes. It didn't seem like she cared that much for her horse, it was a means to an end. Otherwise, she would think about the terrain on which she rode, and the speed she urged her horse on to, but to Meg, this was her spice of life. What a thrill to ride her horse through the trails like this. In her mind, this made her a good rider. She also like to go fox hunting. This is a bunch of people riding across the countryside as fast as they can, jumping obstacles, chasing after hounds who are chasing after a fox. It's the thrill of the chase. Taking a riding lesson where you walk, trot, canter and do a little jumping for about forty five minutes doesn't cut it for Nutmeg. For me, however, that sounds like a perfect ride.

Let's Dance

I did a list of as many kinds of dances as I could think of. I'm sure a missed plenty, but my list was pretty long. Much too long to free write about each type of dance.

The waltz seems sedate, elegant and respectable. For instance, in the movie with Antonio Banderas, where he teaches ballroom dancing to a group of kids in detention, what he's really teaching them is how to respect each other, and how to act as men and women.

I also thought of the fun dances from the 50's and 60's. The twist, what good exercise for the waistline! There's also the swim, the mashed potato (not sure what that is), the stroll, the electric slide.

Oh my gosh, I almost forgot the Charleston, in my list of dances. Remember the scene in "It's a Wonderful Life" where Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed dance in the Charleston contest? I love that scene. Pure fun, and then when they fall into the swimming pool? I'm smiling and laughing everytime I watch the movie, which is at least once a year.

I tried to do the worm at work. I got down on my stomach on the floor, but the carpet was really gross and I found myself unable to flop my body around like a true worm. I really just ended up doing the "stone". No movement, just layed there.

What about the scene in "Gone With The Wind" where Scarlett dances the Virgina Reel, and while she was still in mourning! Scandalous.

I also like the dancing scenes in "Pride and Prejudice". I'm not sure what the names of those dances are, but they looked like fun.

The scene in "Sound of Music" where Maria dances with the Captain in the moonlight is very romantic also.

We used to go out to see bands in college days and thereafter before we slipped into adulthood and dance until the bars closed. Just rock dancing and in high school disco dancing. It was very fun dancing to the Stray Cats or Dummy Club, or going to discos and dancing under disco balls.

Now that I'm old(er). . I never dance anymore, unless it's in the privacy of my living room. What's up with that?

At The Dinner Table

I remember eating 5 o' clock supper at my grandparents'. The meal would usually consist of something like chicken or roast beef or meatloaf, pork chops, corn, tomatos, mashed potatos, pickles, apple sauce, bread, green beans, peas with onion and bacon, maybe potato pancakes with sugar. Not in one meal of course, but these are they types of things we would eat.

My grandpa would mound his plate up with food, and he would clean his plate using the bread to mop up whatever was left. He had a really good appetite, but that was probably because he worked so hard. He worked as a mailman 6 days a week, and they had a huge garden and a lot of lawn to mow.

In their garden they planted potatos, carrots, beans, radishes, beets, kohl-rabbis, lettuce, corn, tomatos, cucumber, squash, and they planted a ton of flowers.

My grandma was a good cook. She never made anything fancy, just basic food, but it was always delicious, and there was always plenty of it.

Allowing God to Be God

Today's sermon at church was about the "portraits of God". What does he reveal to us about himself, his character. We discussed his holiness, his love and his sacrifice. What I took away from it for me personally is that God is so much bigger than all my perceived petty problems. If I would quit fighting change, quit trying to manipulate my circumstances, and let God be God and let him work out his purposes for me (trust him, even though I don't know why all this at work is happening to me), then maybe I could have a sense of peace and calm. I need to have God's peace and calm come over me. As it is right now, I'm hanging on too tightly to my burdens and I'm not allowing God to have them. He's bigger than any of the problems at my work. I don't need to worry, I can trust him with everything. When I feel overwhelmed at work, I have to trust God , take my time, and know he will help me do my best to get the work done. When, I ignore God, and kick him off his throne, I just make a mess of things, and I make myself an emotional mess too.

What's In Your Suitcase?

I don't recall that I've ever forgotten anything on a trip, in fact, I usually pack way more than I need. Oh my gosh, I'm such a control freak! I don't allow myself to be open to any surprises. Maybe that's why I'm struggling with everything at work right now. So much extra work is being thrown at me, but it's all new and so much of it I don't know how to do. Do you know anyone who says they love change? They're liars. I hate change. I cope with it by wrestling it, until it becomes routine. Then when it changes again I cry and moan and complain until I wrestle it again into a routine. Back to what's in your suitcase, I'm actually guilty of the other crime, and that is packing more stuff than I need. Being a control freak, I want to be ready for anything. I always pack my blue platypus for overseas trips. Don't ask me why, it's just something I have always done. He goes in my suitcase when I go on a plane. I don't need to take him on car trips however. Along with blue platypus, I'll pack too much underwear, too many socks, a lot of aspirin, dramamine, CD's clothes. Okay, maybe there was one time when I spent a week in Rome and I packed only three pairs of pants. Seemed like plenty until I went for a ride on a scooter with my friend on a rainy night. My buff colored pants got splattered with all manner of Roman mud and dirt. That left me with only two pairs of pants that were also ready to dance around by themselves, but their color hid the dirt better. On that trip I wished that I had at least one more pair of pants with me. What's the moral? Rome is a dirty city? No. More importantly, how did I react? Well, I wore my other "not so clean" pants home. I was only there a week. No big deal. I could deal with it for that short amount of time. What's the big picture with my job? I've been there eight years. It's been a likeable job up until now. Do have the stamina to stick it out until things change again? Will things get any better? Can I be patient enough to see things through? Certainly I'm not the only one experiencing highly unpleasant conditions and more work than I can do. My boss said, I have to be patient. At the first sign of hardship, I want to give up and run. Maybe that's not the wisest idea. I can't control what is happening at work. I can only control me and my reactions and attitudes. (Ugh, so sorry for the cliche, but it's true, right?). It's easy to write on paper, and it's easy to say. How to implement it into my brain? Control freak and negative attitude be gone!

Why Is it so Hard to De-Clutter?

I go in fits and spurts. I go through phases where I hang on to everything, grocery receipts, church bulletins, junk mail, empty tooth paste tubes, empty lotion bottles, tiny slivers of soap, socks with holes, dead batteries, (maybe they'll come back to life?), plastic bags, old jewelry, old perfume bottles, empty cleaning supplies, jelly jars, a plethora of house hold stuff. I'll accumulate until I'm bursting at the seams. Then as the clutter overtakes my house, so it overtakes my mind to the point where I feel messy, dirty, not organized, I can't think straight. When my urge to purge hits me, there's no stopping me until I throw everything out, or at least put it in its place. Generally, I like being neat. But for some reason I do have a problem accumulating books, notebooks, papers, journals, drawing journals and sketch pads, newspapers, magazines, buckets of drawing utensils, etc. There's no way I want to throw that stuff out. I want to have it near me so I can refer to it at any time. Those things are my comfort and my friends. Still, I need a bigger house for all this stuff. What's really the problem in not throwing out the household items? Fear of no income, fear of job loss, fear that I won't be able to buy more of these tiems so I hoard the empties hoping to salvage whatever is left. I have cut open toothpaste tubes and scraped my toothbrush on the inside, just to get the last tiny bit of paste. Is my extreme hoarding a result of the bad economy? I'm not so sure. I think I've been this way for a long time. But then I get a paycheck and voila! I can go out and buy what I need. When I come home I go into a cleaning fit and throw out all the empties. Then store them all up, until the cycle needs to start again.