My Domestic Skills (or lack thereof)

Some people have bright and shiny houses, neat and clean with a place for everything and everything in it's place. I am not exactly one of them. I, on the other hand am gifted in the art of ignoring the dirt. Oh I can go around the house, pick up stuff on the floor, straighten up papers and books, put stuff in drawers, but get right down to it and scrub and clean? I think not. Only when something becomes so disgusting that one day I snap. Yes. . then I will really clean. In the meantime. . I'm gifted at ignoring the dust on my coffee table and elsewhere. Fuzz bunnies in the corner of the living room? Who cares. What color is the kitchen floor? Why it's the color of dirt, sort of yellow, grayish, brownish, tannish linoleum. I mean honestly, how close do you have to look to see that ring around my bathtub? We don't want to be hasty spending an afternoon cleaning when we could be outside, sitting in a lawnchair with a magazine!

I'm also handy at not being handy around the house. When my drains clog, I'm great at pouring countless bottles of Draino down the sink. I also have the plumber's number on speed dial.

Lawn mower won't start? I have my friends Mat and Sherry to help me take it to the repair place.

My airconditioning stopped working. Well, I'm at a loss there. I've called the heating and cooling guy. Got a picture of my cat pretending he's dead from the heat on the kitchen table.

Perhaps I can sum up my domestic skills in the following poem.

Ice cream eater

Weed eater

Insect killer

Mouse remover

Artiste

Pray(er)

Flower Picker

Trash taker outer

Trash maker

Consumer

Radio Singer

Dancer

Listener

Writer

Rider

As you can see there's a million other things I'd rather do than clean the house!

The Earth And Everything In It

Bouncing Rolling Spinning Timing Climbing Forboding Imploding No more free loading Hurddling Spurtling Churtling Smoke Choke No joke The end.

Water On a Mission

The water stood up and took notice. No longer satisfied to come down in gentle drops and drizzles, It was traveling up. Up the rain gutters Up the streets Up the basements It made phone calls and asked more of its wet friends to come by. It reversed Drove downtown Confronted every crack and crevice and hole and stone It riled up the rivers and streams, lakes and sewers. Wash away you ugly town. You need to be clean I'll leave nothing untouched until you sparkle like diamonds in the morning light.

What Do I do with These Characters?

Cinnamon Burrie was a sweet girl with a tendency to be hot and spicy. She was a high emotion individual . You never knew what could set her off. One moment she seemed fine and happy. She would be laughing and making jokes with people at work. The next minute she'd be cursing up and down like a sailor usually after reading her e-mail. That's when the real work would begin, and Cinnamon got easily ticked off at her customers. ************************************ Basil Harrison was a man about to turn fifty. A perpetual hippe, he had everything handed to him on a silver platter. His parents were extremely rich and they never expected anything from him except to just, be. Basil wanted to do more than just "be" though. He just didn't know what he wanted to be. So here he was turning fifty. He'd never worked a regular job in his life, and he lived in a house that was purchased for him by his parents. Now his parents were pushing ninety and Basil didn't know what he would do without them. They had provided everything for him all his life. How would he function without them? ************************************************************************ Meg's name was short for Nutmeg. Nutmeg Deveraux. She was a lot like the spice in that you really only want it in small doses, and maybe only once a year, like in your egg nog at Christmas, and that's it. Here was a woman who broke all the rules at the riding stable. She always insisted on jumping her horse in the ring when no one was around. She liked to take her horse out on the trails and she would deride anyone who didn't share her enthusiasm for going hell-bent-for-leather in the woods. She would ride over rocks, hills, tree roots, branches and holes. It didn't seem like she cared that much for her horse, it was a means to an end. Otherwise, she would think about the terrain on which she rode, and the speed she urged her horse on to, but to Meg, this was her spice of life. What a thrill to ride her horse through the trails like this. In her mind, this made her a good rider. She also like to go fox hunting. This is a bunch of people riding across the countryside as fast as they can, jumping obstacles, chasing after hounds who are chasing after a fox. It's the thrill of the chase. Taking a riding lesson where you walk, trot, canter and do a little jumping for about forty five minutes doesn't cut it for Nutmeg. For me, however, that sounds like a perfect ride.

Let's Dance

I did a list of as many kinds of dances as I could think of. I'm sure a missed plenty, but my list was pretty long. Much too long to free write about each type of dance.

The waltz seems sedate, elegant and respectable. For instance, in the movie with Antonio Banderas, where he teaches ballroom dancing to a group of kids in detention, what he's really teaching them is how to respect each other, and how to act as men and women.

I also thought of the fun dances from the 50's and 60's. The twist, what good exercise for the waistline! There's also the swim, the mashed potato (not sure what that is), the stroll, the electric slide.

Oh my gosh, I almost forgot the Charleston, in my list of dances. Remember the scene in "It's a Wonderful Life" where Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed dance in the Charleston contest? I love that scene. Pure fun, and then when they fall into the swimming pool? I'm smiling and laughing everytime I watch the movie, which is at least once a year.

I tried to do the worm at work. I got down on my stomach on the floor, but the carpet was really gross and I found myself unable to flop my body around like a true worm. I really just ended up doing the "stone". No movement, just layed there.

What about the scene in "Gone With The Wind" where Scarlett dances the Virgina Reel, and while she was still in mourning! Scandalous.

I also like the dancing scenes in "Pride and Prejudice". I'm not sure what the names of those dances are, but they looked like fun.

The scene in "Sound of Music" where Maria dances with the Captain in the moonlight is very romantic also.

We used to go out to see bands in college days and thereafter before we slipped into adulthood and dance until the bars closed. Just rock dancing and in high school disco dancing. It was very fun dancing to the Stray Cats or Dummy Club, or going to discos and dancing under disco balls.

Now that I'm old(er). . I never dance anymore, unless it's in the privacy of my living room. What's up with that?

At The Dinner Table

I remember eating 5 o' clock supper at my grandparents'. The meal would usually consist of something like chicken or roast beef or meatloaf, pork chops, corn, tomatos, mashed potatos, pickles, apple sauce, bread, green beans, peas with onion and bacon, maybe potato pancakes with sugar. Not in one meal of course, but these are they types of things we would eat.

My grandpa would mound his plate up with food, and he would clean his plate using the bread to mop up whatever was left. He had a really good appetite, but that was probably because he worked so hard. He worked as a mailman 6 days a week, and they had a huge garden and a lot of lawn to mow.

In their garden they planted potatos, carrots, beans, radishes, beets, kohl-rabbis, lettuce, corn, tomatos, cucumber, squash, and they planted a ton of flowers.

My grandma was a good cook. She never made anything fancy, just basic food, but it was always delicious, and there was always plenty of it.